MPs with For Sell sticker

I cannot help it but share yet another petty observation elicited by a story in the Standard (March 5th, 07). I promise that this will be the pettiest of them all.

The Standard tells us that MPs allied to ODM will visit London on a bonding mission. Their bonding session will be presided over by 10 UK MPs. While in London, Kenyan MPs will hold a dinner event for ‘investors’ with an entry fee ranging between 100 and 1,000 sterling pounds.

“What you pay will determine how close you sit to the aspirants,” the Standard quotes ODM Publicity Secretary in London who goes by the names, George Muruli.

It all sounds innocent unless you are one of the petty Kenyans like me. To a petty Kenyan, this marks the official auction of your MPs. The auction is a charitable act that will raise money to set up a theocracy in Kenya after Kibaki is kicked out. So it is all in the name of Wanjiku!

Skeptical me smells a fish! Why would British MPs be involved in a matter that is 100% Kenyan? And why would Kenyan MPs invite British MPs into an affair that is 100% Kenyan? This sounds odd unless you are a Kenyan who doesn’t indulge on petty issues. From what I understand, we elect officials to serve our interests as Wanjiku. By inviting foreigners into Kenyan affairs, our MPs are submitting themselves to be used as puppets by foreign nations as they (these nations) seek to serve their interests. Direct interference into our political system by foreign interests is one thing that Kenyans need to worry about because it amounts to colonialism by proxy.

And then there is the issue of the dinner where the highest bidder gets the seat closest to our MPs. Those of us who thrive on petty issues don’t see this as an activity where an investor will pay more than £1,000 for a piece of chicken and call it a night. Small-minded Kenyans like me see this as a dangerous precursor to a new mega corruption scandal. ‘Investors’ –especially those from the UK- don’t dish out money to Kenyan politicians without expectations from the politicians. Ask John Githongo and he will tell you that these infesters don’t live of chicken wings alone. Githongo will tell you that the so-called dinner is a vector for very infectious deals that can turn reformists into devils.

These pay-to-play games must be discouraged at all costs. Those bidding for our MPs ears might be the same people harming Kenya’s interests in the UK. Our MPs should ask themselves: What if the highest bidder happens to be the firm calling its self ‘The Kikoy Company UK Limited’? What if New Anglo Leasing and Fleecing Co. outbid everybody else for the seat at the high table? What if ...?

As Kiraitu said about Anglo Fleecing, campaign funding is the mother of all corruption in Kenya. Kiraitu said that future scandals can be mitigated by instituting campaign funding laws. Hate him or love him but he was right. It is only human that he who pays the piper calls the tune.

The London bonding meeting will not only bond ODM Luminaries but also conceive the future Anglo Goldenberg. The so-called investors are the good old infesters who have infested our country infesting it with various strains of corruption.

The sad part of this petty story is that educated Kenyans that are cheerleading for our Luminaries welcome pay-to-pay as long as it serves their Luminary’s interests. They have prepared a well-thought defense on how noble it is to have UK MPs and investors join hands with ODM and Wanjiku in kicking Kibaki out. Their upcoming defense reminds me of the fable, The Hunter and the Horse. I am looking forward to hear their side of the story.